The 5 steps to being an assertive leader
Finding the sweet spot between passive and aggressive leadership styles
For many people, assertiveness is a learned skill that takes time and practice to refine. But research shows that leaders who invest in developing their assertive communication skills are much more likely to be successful in their careers due to their ability to influence and create an impact.
The key to assertive leadership is finding the balance — not being assertive enough makes it difficult for your voice to be heard and gain the respect of your manager and team; but if you are too forceful your team will be unmotivated and resent your authoritarian leadership style.
Assertiveness isn’t just a communication style. It’s also a mindset of wanting to find a solution that suits both parties. It’s respecting that you have the right to ask, and the other person has the right to negotiate or say no.
So, how do you know if you’re leading with the right balance of assertiveness? Over the last 15 years, I have worked with many leaders to help them identify and develop their unique assertive leadership style, working on these 5 key steps:
1) Identify your personal blocks to assertiveness
Begin by recognising your level of assertiveness, which gives you a baseline to understand changes that you need to make — start by considering the situations when you do not respond assertively
2) Identify non–assertive behaviour and language and know how to avoid it
Learn body language, words and phrases to avoid'
Develop a set of (almost) templated responses to use instead
3) Set boundaries
Allow for thinking space before responding to requests so you can consider them in terms of their reasonableness. Is it reasonable to push back and say no?
4) Delegate effectively and manage challenging team members confidently
Asking team members to do reasonable tasks within the context of their job is you being a leader. Most team members will say yes if you’ve connected the request to a team goal or their personal development.
If you get push back, find out what the concern is. Being assertive is about finding a win-win solution, so hold the line on what’s important to you and explore options and concessions.
5) Know how to stand up for your team with senior managers and other key stakeholders
Consider the symbolic value of the directive in the context of your organisation’s purpose, values and goals, or your team’s goals.
Provide a brief explanation of the issue, consequence and alternative options, using facts to back up your position.
Assertiveness can be a difficult trait to master but it is an essential ingredient for being an effective and influential leader.
If you want to uncover your baseline assertiveness, how to avoid using non-assertive behaviour and strengthen your leadership skills, Incredible People runs a one-day workshop on Assertive Leadership, as well as one-to-one leadership coaching for a more tailored approach. Get in touch today to find out more.